Not That Fateful and Dreaded Phone Call

Tayler got out of the shower yesterday and came in my room wrapped in a towel, hair dripping on the floor to show me some purple-ish spots on her chest. I did the usual sick child spot check. No fever. No runny nose. No cough. No aches or pains. So, I sent her off to school with instructions to keep her eye on them and call me if they started multiplying. Around noon, I get a phone call from her saying she had 7 spots this morning, and now there are 11. I picked her up from school, did another spot check. No symptoms of any kind. I called the doctor and they told me to bring her in.

All of her vitals were perfect as usual and she was cheery and happy. The doctor came in and took a look at the spots, checked her legs, listened to her lungs, checked the spots again, and made that god awful perplexed "hmmmm", you know, the one with the furrowed brow that makes your stomach turn. She then told me the spots are purpura. Pur..whaaaaa?? Purpura is essentially bleeding under the skin and can be caused by a multitude of things ranging from meningitis to simple trauma to the area.

"I'll be right back" the doctor says and steps out of the room. My concern grows as I just know she's going to find another doctor for another opinion, and of course moments later in walks the doctor with her colleague. He looks at the spots more "hmmmmmms". He has her lie down and lifts her head, moves it around in circles, asks some questions, and rules out meningitis..whewwwwwww!!! The options we were left with were a: Trauma or B: low platelets...shiiiiiiiit!!! He recommends some blood tests and leaves.

This of course throws Tayler into a near panic. The last time a needle had to enter Tayler about 6 years ago, it took 6 grown nurses to hold her down. I gave the typical reassurances..."You're a young adult now" "You can handle this" "It's not as bad as a shot" "Mommy will be right here, holding your hand." "I'll buy you ice cream if you're brave"... When the nurse came in to draw the blood, she manned up..shut her eyes really tight, winced a little, squeezed the shit out of my hand, and only said "ow" once. I was very proud of her!!

The doctor came back in and let me know she was sending the blood to the labs to be tested STAT, not because she thought it was anything serious, but because she was curious...seriously?!?!?! This is what you say to reassure a parent you have just told their child could potentially have leukemia?!?!? I'm curious?!?! WTF...she sent me home with purpura written on a piece of paper and explicit instructions NOT TO GOOGLE IT when I got home.

We went home. Picked up a frozen pizza and the promised ice cream at the store. I had promised Tayler we would watch My Sister's Keeper when Ross was out of town this week. As much as I was sure I did NOT want to sit with my daughter and watch a dramatic sob story about a girl with..you guessed it..Leukemia, I felt like what I needed to do with Tayler right now was act normal. She did not need her mom in total freak-out mode...freaking her out.

So we watched the movie, while I choked back tears. I literally forced myself NOT to cry..and that was a SAD movie!! And I waited...and waited...and waited. We left the doctor's office at 5.. at 7 there was still no call...at 8 there was still no call. I continued to reassure myself that there couldn't possibly be anything wrong with her..she was healthy and active...but when you're in these situations, you can't help but think about all of the movies and blogs you read from parents with seriously sick children..how their kid was fine, then one day some strange something or other appears, and the next thing they know their fighting some epic battle with a life-threatening disease. I wasn't in a full blown panic, but it was definitely lingering at the back of my head.

Around 9, I got the call. I knew immediately by the chipper way the doctor said "Hi!" that everything was fine, a total rush of relief when she said Tayler's blood is perfect.

I was beyond grateful and relieved that it was NOT one of those calls that turn your world upside down, and in that moment, my heart went out to all of those parents who have answered that phone call and heard a somber doctor on the other end of the line.

5 Reasons Why It's Been Three Decades Since My Last Post

1. I'm working two jobs now and it's sucking the life out of me and who wants to read a blog about spreadsheets and more spreadsheets??

2. I'm working 60 hours a week now, so you tell me..between THAT, episodes of Weeds, a bottle of wine a night (for mental health reasons), and my absolutley required-in-order-to-function 8 hours of sleep..where does blogging fit?? ... (hint: it Doesn't).

3. I've been running around the house naked and free all summer and enjoying the new backyard I slaved over all spring while Tayler was off to CA with her dad...in my but only in my daydreams because.......... see #1.

4. I've been jet-setting around the world and galavanting across the globe seeking out adventures and thrills...but only when I close my eyes at night...In realy life I couldn't even afford a realy honeymoon this summer...hence #2.

5. I've been putting all of my effort into holding onto the tiniest last shred of sanity I have left....reason: see above.

The Freaks Come Out At Night

Somewhere around 2 in the morning, I awoke to some sort of scratchy squeaky noise and I was convinced the "things" that have infested our walls and attic had finally succeeded in clawing their way through the wall as they have been trying desperately to do ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT for about three months..or maybe longer now...because my husband who is ALWAYS on top of things says everyday "I'm on it..I'll do it tomorrow"

translation: "You keep moving your mouth, but all I hear is blahh blahhh blahh".

My heart jumped into my throat as I imagined something along the lines of THIS crawling out of a hole under the bed with the sole purpose of clawing my eyes out.

















Just kidding..my imagination isn't THAT good..I Google'd "Rat Monster". Although...you never know these days, what with cancer and the chemicals in the air and what-not..that IS probably a very close representation of what has been building a freaking condo complex up in my attic ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT..or then again, it could be an image depicting the personality of my almost 11 year daughter that has surfaced over the past two months..

Luckily it was just the stupid cat lapping up the water in the cup I left beside the bed. You would think that knowing I had two cats whose natural instincts SHOULD be to hunt down little creatures like this and destroy them would be somewhat comforting, but then you would have to know my cats. Moon would just sit there and stare at it with that phlegmatic (I found that word on Thesaurus.com..because I am oh so clever!!) expression because she's too freaking lazy to move her fat ass and chase anything and she just doesn't give a shit..and Cassady is scared of her own shadow..she would have a heart attack and die instantly at the sight of that thing....

either way I'm in desperate need an exterminator..or a terminator and maybe even an exorcist...for my walls AND Tayler's new tween alter-ego..

a two for one deal would be extra nice!!

Taking a Ride on The Obama Bandwagon

In my 10 years of voting eligibilty..this was the first year I got out and excersized my right.

Why this year? I don't know..maybe because I've never felt like change has ever been needed more than right now..maybe because my bleeding heart liberal husband has helped open my eyes (aka: subjected me to politics for approximately 15 excrutiating hours a day) and interest in who's guiding the super-power of the world..maybe because Bush honestly envoked enough fear into my heart..fear that our current choice in leadership was dragging us all to hell by the collar..and my daughter's generation would be left to pick up the pieces.

But I'm pretty sure that because I took an interest..because I stood up and said enough of this shit...I sat on my bed next to my hubby and heard a great man speak today..and the sun is now shining on our hopeful future!!